The story of this morning as told by me

So yeah, I flipped out a bit this morning. It happens. The baby woke up 5, he was wet, and by wet I mean his outfit and blanket were wet as long as his diaper. He was cranky because he was hungary but then he didn't seem to want to eat, and he was wide awake. I took him to bed with me. Usually when that happens it is lights out and he is finished. Not this morning. By the time he stopped fussing, by my feeding him while I tried to doze off, my alarm was going off. I didn't want to get up so I tried to sleep for an extra half hour, didn't really work all that well. When I get up Shel asks me to change his diaper.

To recap, I've been up for over an hour with the baby already, I'm a bit cranky, and I'm running behind on getting to work. I begin changing the diaper and it is loaded. As I am wiping he farts, taking this as an indicator of what is to come I make preparations to keep order by placing the baby wipe in a what could best be described as a catch position. It works, I successfully fended off one round of live-action baby poopapalooza. I, however, am not prepared for round two, which goes everywhere. This is where I start to lose it. Three baby wipes, one dirty changing pad, one dirty diaper, one crying baby, and one upset Dad later I am done changing the baby. This is when I notice that the baby's pajamas are wet, again. How in the hell did that happen? Needless to say, at that point the baby scored a TKO. I handed the baby to Shel and start getting ready to work, it was not the most auspicious beginning to the morning.